FAIL: Tequila Pineapple Upside Down Cake

I nearly ruined the birthday dinner with this cake. I should have known this wasn't going to work when I couldn't find a real recipe for tequila-spiked pineapple upside down cake, aside from one blog post about a group of people who got drunk making the cake.

Why did I ignore the signs?

Things were going well. I'd found not one but TWO recipes for miniature, single-serving pineapple upside down cake. It's my dad's favorite, and my mom makes it for him every year for his birthday. Here I was, making it for just me and the boy for his birthday because it's also his favorite, and I didn't want to have a bunch of leftover cake that we'd be stuck eating for days. Especially if it didn't work out.

That was the one smart move I made.

I used half a bottle of $10 Zapoppan tequila reposado, which is actually quite tasty for a cheap bottle (gotta love Trader Joe's) and soaked a whole can of pineapple rings in it for just a few hours. I baked the little cakes in their ramekins, popped them out to cool as we enjoyed his birthday dinner, then lit a candle and sang him a little off-key rendition of Happy Birthday. I took the first bite, and rushed to stop him before he could make the same mistake.

And then apologized profusely for completely ruining his favorite cake. I'd also ruined the Guinness brownies I'd attempted to make him just a month earlier. Remember how I don't bake?

He was very sweet about the entire ordeal. Apparently the deck was stacked against me because he did mention that my pineapple upside down cake was never going to be a good as his mother's...well, at least I make kick ass carnitas.

Next time, instead of messing with the pineapples, I'll just put some spirits in a caramel topping that goes on AFTER baking. Because this was an absolute and total FAIL. L'sigh.

Pomegranate Molasses Yogurt Bread

I don't know why I shy away from baking. I even bought myself what has been termed the gleaming red Ferrari of a mixer to try to overcome this. I really should be more enthused about it, it's like chemistry! I liked chemistry.

So when the ladies at Food 52 posted a recipe for Maple Yogurt Pound Cake, I decided to experiment. I switched out the maple syrup for pomegranate molasses, and use tart Greek yogurt.  Super tartness!

The first time the bread came out tasting pretty good, but it didn't rise much. I realized my baking powder was probably too old. I liked the sweet tartness of the pomegranate molasses, and it was so very moist. So I made it again for Mother's Day.

The second time around I also tripled the sugar, using brown sugar too. Since the original recipe used maple syrup, I had to make up for the lack of sweetness. And I love brown sugar. 

The reviews were definitely mixed. I loved it, super moist and tart, but it a good way. My mom loved it, but my niece, nephew, and older brother did not. I told them their palettes weren't sophisticated enough to appreciate it, but they would get there eventually. These are the same people who love my pancakes, after all.

The original recipe is here.

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Pomegranate Molasses Yogurt Bread

adapted from Maple Yogurt Pound Cake 

A tart but exceptionally moist loaf of cake bread.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup pomegranate molasses
• 3/4 cup Greek yogurt
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup oil

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray or butter a metal loaf pan (8.5 x 4.5 x 2.5 inches).2. Whisk together the molasses, yogurt, eggs, sugars, vanilla, and lemon zest. In another bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add to the wet ingredients. Once the dry ingredients are fully incorporated, add in the oil until fully absorbed by the batter.3. Pour batter into the prepared loaf pan and bake for about 50 minutes. If a toothpick tester doesn't come out clean, cook for another 5-10 minutes.4. Allow cake to cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then cut around the sides to loosen. Turn the cake onto a rack and cool completely.5. Top with butter, whipped cream, or simply stuff it naked in your mouth.

Details

Prep time: 10 mins Cook time: 50 mins Total time: 1 hour Yield: 1 loaf

Red Wine Chocolate Cake

Chocolate cake. Two words that delight the senses and make the mouth water. What's better than chocolate cake? Chocolate cake with wine in it!

Unless, of course, you don't like chocolate. Or wine. But that's too crazy to contemplate.

A friend recommended this recipe from Smitten Kitchen saying it was pretty easy. I'm not a baker, at all. But I had a delicious bottle of Cabernet Franc. So very tasty, this wine. And you know what they say about cooking with wine...

If you don't know how difficult it was to leave a 2005 Domaine de Château Gaillard Saumur Cab Franc untouched, your life is semi-charmed. First of all, I was stuck in bed with alcohol-unfriendly sickies. Then I somehow convinced myself that I needed to make the cake with this particular wine, so even once I was better, I still couldn't savor it. Because somehow I'd had the inhuman willpower when I first opened the bottle to save the exact 3/4 cup needed for this recipe. Who am I?

This wine is truly fantastic. I have had many red wines and this was quite near the top of all the delectable red-hued intoxicants that have passed through these lips. I'm fantasizing about it right now as I write this.

That said, I shouldn't have wasted it on a cake. Remember how I'm not a baker? Why I tested a recipe with a bottle of wine that costs more than two dollars is beyond me. I blame the codeine-induced haze I was living in. Deb suggests that the cake comes out of the oven "shiny and smooth, like a puddle of chocolate." It sounds pretty. Mine didn't look like that. It looked like the exact opposite of that.

Don't get me wrong, it tastes good. I ate a piece for breakfast. Then another. Then I put whipped cream and powdered sugar on it and took pictures for you. Then I ate that piece too. And also the other piece you won't see pictures of, but that has cranberry sauce all over it. Yeah, 4 pieces. Then I called some friends and asked them to come eat the rest before I ended up drunk for breakfast.

You shouldn't drink alone, right? You also shouldn't stuff your face with alcohol-infused chocolate cake alone either.

Because sharing is caring. Especially when it's a Cab Franc.