Choking Down Sardines

I'm now on the 9th day of this cleanse to determine what is causing my searing headaches. I kind of feel like a chemistry experiment. The special diet my doctor has me following requires at least one serving of fish per day. Ingesting that much fish might make normal people wonder about mercury. And I'm normal people.

But nature has genius ways of getting around mercury poisoning, in the form of teeny fish like sardines. The little oily fishies are high in the good stuff and low in the bad stuff. They are not, however, like dew drops on roses and whiskers on kittens, among my favorite things.

You could say I hate them. Yup. I hate them. They are, in a word, gross.

But in the battle between having a life free of the voodoo doll stabbing pain and risking death by heavy metal-induced disease, I'm opted for the lesser of two evils and tried making friends with what fishermen refer to as bait.

It was not easy. Their little bones stick to your teeth and seriously? Ick! But I persevered.

You can do funny things to the little Clupeids. Like smash them up and throw them in tomato sauce and curry powder with a bunch of sautéed veggies. They're less obvious that way (except for the smashed bones in your teeth...ick!) and actually not all that bad.

The original recipe calls for 3 whole cans of the little fishies, but that would have made enough to feed me for all 21 days of this elimination challenge, and I sure as hell do not want to be eating sardines forever, so no. It is also very clear to not break the sardines. Ooops.

I took a lot of liberties with the recipe. Like omitting the squash, swapping out scallions for green garlic (right now is the time to do it!), adding way more curry powder than called for (it's yummy), and generally turning it into a soup. In fact, that's what I'm calling it: Tomato Sardine Soup.

But it was edible. And made 2 servings worth, so I got to repeat the whole experience again at lunch the next day. Lucky me.

print recipe

Tomato Sardine Soup

Adapted from Curried Sardines 

Ingredients
1 can sardines (packed in water or oil or tomato sauce)
1 tablespoon olive oil (or use the oil from the can, if using oil-packed fish)
1 roasted red pepper, chopped
1 sweet red onion, chopped
3 stalks of green garlic, chopped
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
1 15-oz can tomato sauce
1 tablespoon curry powder (more to taste)
Fresh thyme

Instructions

1. In medium saucepan heat the oil and sauté the vegetables until the onions are translucent. Do not let the garlic burn. Remove from pan and set aside.

2. Add tomato sauce and sardines to the same saucepan. Smash up the fish to hide them from your eyes. Let simmer a few minutes until fish are heated through. 
3. Return vegetables back to the saucepan. Add the curry powder. Throw in some more, it won't hurt you. Simmer again for 5-8 minutes.

4. Serve in a warm bowl. Sprinkle some thyme in for added flavor and pretty color.

Yield: 2 servings

Operation No Carbs

My birthday is next month and there's a possibility I'll be spending it in the Caribbean. *happy dance* So to get ready for swimsuit season, I decided to cut out as many non-fiber carbs as is possible and healthy. My body loves carbs, hates being off carbs, so I knew this was going to be the textbook definition of "easy."

Not.

Day 1 was yesterday. I borrowed liberally from the Atkins recipe database, as well as my own smarts. Since I'm slightly allergic to egg whites, I need to stay away from the egg-heavy Atkins menu plans. For lunch I made my own Caesar dressing, plopped a bag of Dole Classic Romaine Salad, and then topped it with the pièce de résistance: sardines. (Yeah, classic Caesar has anchovies, which I thought I had in the pantry, but it turns out they were sardines instead. So I went with it.)

 It was literally a piece of resistance. I had to choke those fishies down with visions of a tropical beach front and center in my mind.

Much like this:

Hello, paradise.

The recipe for Faux-Caesar Dressing follows. (Original is here.) I accidentally left out the olive oil, added too much hot sauce, and totally forgot about the anchovy paste. Also, 3 garlic cloves was way too many. Learn from my mistakes. One of which was pretending I could eat sardines without choking.

Faux-Caesar Dressing
1/4 cup Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon lemon juice (1/2 lemon)
1 1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated black pepper
2 shots sriracha sauce (to taste)
1/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons grated Swiss cheese

1. In a small bowl, whisk all the ingredients together.
2. Toss lettuce with dressing until evenly coated. Divide on plates; top with a sardine.
3. Try not to choke.

Opeartion No Carbs is, thus far, a dubious success. Onto Day 2...