Smoked Oyster Dip

I've learned that I like smoked oysters. A couple of ways. This experiment started as a smoked oyster pâté. I was working on a cross between the recipes from Food52 and Joseph Phelps Vineyard, both of which use cream cheese.

But I decided to use a super strong Egyptian Istanbolli cheese my mother found was too salty for her, so she pawned it off on me. As soon as I tasted it, I knew I would use it in this dish.

The feta-like cheese was so strong I cut back on the salt and lemon. I also only used half of the Worcestershire sauce because of its high sodium content. Switching out parsley for oregano (I never have parsley on hand, but I always have oregano — must be the Latina in me), adding more garlic, and foregoing the lemon zest completely led to a tasty combination. I almost wish I'd left out the Tabasco, it really doesn't add much more than a sour vinegar-y flavor. My other mistake was in using all three tablespoons of milk at once. Given the oil from the smoked oysters (though drained), there was a bit too much liquid.

Therefore, I made a creamy dip instead of a thick pâté. This would make a great sandwich spread, or bagel schmear.

It's good party food. And a perfect vehicle for the fresh chives I recently acquired. I love chives in anything. Even with smoked oysters. They make pretty, edible garnishes.

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Smoked Oyster Dip

by Paulette Fontanez

A creamy cheese-based dip perfect for parties.

Ingredients

• 8 oz Istanbolli cheese (can substitute cream cheese, feta, goat cheese or even ricotta)
• 2 tablespoons scallions, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce (to taste)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons fresh oregano, finely chopped
• 2 tablespoons chives, finely chopped
• 3 tablespoons milk 
• 1 three oz can smoked oysters, packed in olive oil
• dash hot sauce, such as Tabasco
• salt & pepper, to taste

Instructions

1. In a bowl, combine the cheese, scallions, garlic, oregano, chives, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce.2. Add the milk a bit at a time, until you reach the thickness you prefer. All three tablespoons lead to a very thin dip, less to a thicker pâté-like texture. Remember you might add oil in the next step.3. Add in the oysters, using a bit of the flavorful oil in the mix. Add the salt and pepper at this point, if needed.4. Spread on crackers or bagels, or serve in a dipping bowl.

Details

Yield: 4-6 servings

Oysters Smoked & Skewered

Turns out straight out of the can isn't the only thing to do with the alien-looking smoked oysters (and remain on the elimination challenge diet). They're also really good with tomatoes. Especially baby heirloom tomatoes. On sticks.

I got the idea from the good people over at Group Recipes. But they recommended toothpicks, and I like my sticks a bit longer.

There's something perfect about the combination of baby tomatoes and smoked oysters together. Like peanut butter and jelly, mac and cheese, or an old scotch and a fine cigar, they are absolutely delicious together.

And far easier than shucking your own oysters.

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Smoked Oysters & Tomato Skewers

An easy snack

Ingredients

1 tin (3.5 ounces) smoked oysters1 basket mini heirloom tomatoes

Instructions

1. Alternate spearing oysters and tomatoes on a skewer. Use about 4 tomatoes and 3 oysters per skewer. Be careful, the oysters are delicate and tend to fall apart easily.

2. Repeat until all tomatoes and oysters have been used.

3. Eat.

Yield: about 10 skewers

Oysters Two Ways

Another four days doing this damn elimination experiment and I can go back to drinking and smoking and...well, I don't actually smoke. But drinking, yes. And eating CHEESE!

But first, more fish. Or, oysters. Which are great raw. I truly love raw oysters. And I have been known to pay far too much money in one sitting to have someone else clean, shuck, and serve them to me. Because how else am I supposed to enjoy two dozen oysters all to myself?

My parents, who are exceptionally awesome, bought me my own shucking knife. But shucking oysters is time consuming. I know this, because it took my dad and I way too long to shuck a dozen. And we ate them far too quickly. But they sure were delicious.

So when I discovered that you can get them smoked in a can, kind of like Prince Albert (another tobacco joke! I'm on a roll...), I was intrigued.

But what does one do with a tin of oily oysters? Well, the exact same thing you do with raw ones: smother them in lemon juice, horseradish, and cocktail sauce. Or if you're like my family, you trade out the cocktail sauce for sriracha or some other pique (pronounced pee-ke).

And then you go to town. Mmmm.

Yeah, they look like weird, oily creatures. Or, if you're squinting, like dates. But they're good. 

And that's what I need to get through the next four days.